When you find meaning and solace in fandoms, fantasy and entertainment .
There is a certain level of disdain that I notice people have when they come across the word ‘Fangirl’. It conjures up an image of a ‘crazy screaming teenage girl’ and many a times, people have a very condescending reaction to this stereotypical image. I, on the other hand, see the typical ‘fangirl’ as an example of a person who is most passionate and gleefully enthusiastic about something they love — a kind of pure feeling many forget as they grow up.
Personally I think society in general just loves to dunk on whatever young women do.
People believe that young women know nothing and whatever they like is stupid and pointless. Think makeup, Disney movies, fashion, boybands, any fandoms/hobbies that lean to young women as the majority. Anything associated with women. These are absolutely harmless pursuits. But you’ll find many scrunching up their noses, sometimes literally, when you mention them as interests. Not cool enough, not smart enough, not productive enough… just not good enough to be considered valid.
Young men on the other hand aren’t pointedly looked at with cringe or snark for sitting on the couch watching cricket/football or playing video games or being very much into Star Wars — things that have absolutely no other point than, rightly so, having fun. And they or their hobbies aren’t generalized with contempt— young men aren’t considered stupid or vain for liking something that they do for fun. They aren’t assumed to be doing it for attention or just brainlessly following a trend (Which young women are frequently accused of). Spare me the crap about how men do it for ‘learning strategy’ or ‘hand eye co-ordination’ or some shit that 98% couch potatoes never put to use in a real world scenario. It’s fine if you do things for just fun. You don’t need to be judged based on what harmless stuff you enjoy — and this should be applied to everyone.
But it isn’t.
In a lot of ways, I’d say being a proud fangirl is an act of rebellion against a very shitty, condescending and joyless society that has a stick up it’s arse.
This constant questioning about the ‘intelligence’ (or lack of) behind having these tastes was displayed in various ways in the discourse around them and made me question my own tastes quite a bit. There’s an entire essay that can be written about that but the consequence for me essentially was this — I analyzed the shit out of my interests.
So as someone who enjoys pop culture a lot, but also someone who dissects what she enjoys to an atomic level and ALSO wants to figure out why she likes what she likes — I have picked up some things I have learned by being a fangirl.
1. You CAN learn from your role models, fictional or not.
One of the things I do (and so do MANY fangirls) is to analyze the subject of our fangirling. It could be members of a band, characters in a book or show or someone in your area of interest that you look up to. Everything they do is fascinating, you can observe them for hours, their mannerisms and behaviour gets psychoanalysed, their culture/universe becomes an object of study and discussion and in short — they become the object of your fascination.
If you add a pinch of self-awareness to this mix, one can learn from these characters or artists if one chooses to. People turn to self-help/motivational books or billionaires or life coaches or spiritual gurus — I turn to Harry Potter, Doctor Who or BTS. On surface level these are entertainment. I can suspend my belief when watching Doctor Who or reading Harry Potter, but I can still take stuff away from it.
I can enjoy BTS songs and performances, laugh at their goofiness, be enamored by them but be completely aware that they’re compassionate, talented, successful, funny, well dressed hard workers in the end. I want to be all that. I can list what I have learned specifically from each member. [But that’s a completely different article(s?)]. A friend has mentioned she’s learning about performance by watching them.
I can take a positive can-do attitude from The Doctor. Learn how to not take everyone too seriously. Be enthusiastically happy about new discoveries or experiences. Always be curious, always be ready to learn — like Hermione.
2. Genius does not need to be unkind.
Pop culture is full of characters and people that are anti-social, blunt and cold geniuses. A lot of these are idolized by general public for not only their brains, but also a harsh, sociopathic personality that treats others like doormats because they’re SO much smarter than these regular folks *cough* BBC Sherlock *cough* House *cough*. Ahem.
Look, I love smart people. I love geniuses. I want to surround myself with them. But I don’t care much for unkind and uncompassionate people. Sure I’ll respect their expertise but not them as a person and I certainly won’t look up to them as any sort of role model.
All the shows, books and people that I genuinely love — showed me that genius does not need to be unkind.
Hermione, Dumbledore, Dr Brennan, The Doctor — all of them examples of the best of the best — but they are not absolute arseholes to people around them. Characters like Dr Brennan are tactless or unemotional but she isn’t lacking in compassion on purpose and is ready to be better given the chance. The Doctor is THE kind, compassionate genius. RM and Suga from BTS are people who are highly intelligent and choose compassion to others.
No scoffing about perfectly natural emotions, no snark for general not-as-intelligent people around them. Just pure class.
True genius, in my opinion, does not invalidate kindness nor consider it a weakness but realizes that it is an integral part of being human, instead of an emotionless machine.
3. If something gives you joy, it doesn’t matter what people say about it.
I’m sure people repeat this all the time, but it needs reminding. If something really gives you joy and peace — whatever people say about it is generally white noise.
I’ve been asked ‘What’s so special that you get so happy about it?’ ever since I was an overly excited 12 year old geeking out over Harry Potter. I find people even more confused when I declare myself a very enthusiastic fan of BTS. (‘Isn’t that for teenage girls?’). Many a times I even tried to tone it down or maybe not show too much of excitement about things I liked. I also thought that maybe those things are not that great as I think they are.
I was wrong. Of course.
Everything that I like, to this day, gives me a lot more joy than most people I have met. Everything I like, I do so for good reason.
It’s a testament to those works of art or people who create it that they make me laugh and cry more than 98% of the people I know. The heart wants what the heart wants.
4. Being a part of a community is an exhilarating experience.
It started (once again) with Harry Potter. I had so many new experiences that I had because of being a ‘Potterhead’ — I got my first few online friends, came across the concept of fan-art, fan-fiction and actual communities around a work of fiction.
I watched a special episode of Doctor Who in a college hall with 50 people I did not know AT ALL. I cheered and clapped for the Doctor with them. You’d think we knew each other since ages if you saw us talking in the evening when the fact was that we met that afternoon. I went to Comic Con dressed as a TARDIS with them and it was one of the best days I had (that's where the header image is from )!
I donate to several fundraising events that are started by BTS fans in BTS members’ name. They donate to BLM, they fund night schools, help flood victims in Assam, to name a few. I make BTS fanart and the fans are just so encouraging and lovely about it.
Being a part of a community is a joyous, sometimes even overwhelming experience. The communities are there when you need perspective, or are feeling alone or lost and want to be a part of something bigger, or just need someone to discuss the next season/album theories — you know, for fun. We are social animals, and fan communities are just one of the ways people can be social.
5. Someone else’s creation can spark your creativity.
I cannot explain how much of my creative inspiration is derived from pop culture. Ever since I was introduced to the concept of fan-art through Harry Potter I was attracted to the idea of building on things that I love. Scenes from a series, characters from a movie or series, songs and artists themselves have had impact on me, so much so that I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about it till I made something inspired from it.
Meaningful lyrics have led me to change the direction I was taking in my creative journey, breathtaking shots from a music video or a television series have made me learn different techniques for different mediums, artists talking about their craft has made me contemplate about my opinions and decisions.
It is possible to like things just for fun — but it is also possible that you are inspired by someone else’s work and it helps you in your craft.
6. The things you like teach you about yourself.
I like smart people, but I hate asshole smart people. I like cold logic but I dislike logic that ignores basic human emotions. I love people who just keep digging. I love and admire people who continuously work on their craft — I want to be that person. I adore confident people — I want to borrow that confidence.
I found all this because I wonder why I find a character to be my favorite or why I relate more to one person out of a 7 member band. You can find out a lot of things about yourself that you didn’t consciously think about.
It also gives me minor insights about other people based on what they like,. For example, if someone idolizes BBC Sherlock, I know that the person will be annoying as fuck.
7. You are what you choose to consume.
It’s the Age of Consumption. We have to be very careful of what we consume as what we watch, read and consume affect our thinking, intelligence and behavior.
I like watching things that give me happiness, hope, perspective, inspiration and creativity. There’s enough despair in the world as it is that I consume through the news so when I want to escape reality for entertainment I rarely choose something gruesome or violent on purpose.
I do find that I am happier when I choose what I consume to reflect a more positive outcome than just choosing what is trendy. I could go for Gossip Girl and come up with a painting inspiration and a relaxed brain or go to Game of Thrones/Paatal Lok and come out depressed and anxious. I don’t care that people think Game of Thrones/Paatal Lok is the ‘cooler’ and ‘smarter’ or ‘realistic/gritty’ (eye roll) choice. If it’s making me depressed and anxious after I watch it, it’s not the smart choice.
The media we consume affects our mood, our moods affect our health and actions. I fangirl for things that make me a positive, productive and good person as opposed to cynical, jaded and killjoy. I am much more careful of what I consume and even more about what I recommend other people consume. So when I actually do recommend something you can bet I really think it’s a good use of your time and mind.
All in all, I could write quite a lot more but I can stick to these seven points. Most of them are not talked about as far as I know. I can imagine someone going, ‘It’s not that deep!’ to all the points here. But what I can also imagine is me throwing up my hands and say ‘Oh but it is! What are you going to do about it?’
Maybe you just need to be a fangirl to get it. *shrugs*
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